Tag Archive: non verbal communication

The journey so far!

SmartShrubs is a wonderful journey that the I and the participants take together.

When I start the day with my first batch and meet kids, they are full of enthusiasm and ready for imbibing more skills. Can you ever stop children from learning more and more? The answer is never.  Gradually, they are becoming more aware about their environment. Through tasks that require them to observe, assume and interpret, they are getting to know the world better. Every second of the day, first consciously and then unconsciously, they are absorbing.

It is so satisfactory to see them grow. To be able to make a contribution and see how they are evolving. The first day when they came for the very first class, to the loud laughter and fun they have, and deep down inside they know that they are gaining something and becoming more skilled. The difference I see in their communication patterns between the first day and end of the second week is remarkable! For honesty sakes, I never imagined that they would imbibe so fast.

A mix of exercises–role plays, discussions, debates over topics that would just push them to imagine and create, the rewards to keep them motivated–these are sessions that they look forward to!

Children are much aware nowadays in comparisons to previous generations. Every day, they decide for themselves, from the given choices, what would they like to learn today! And wow! the list is both amazing and satisfactory!

The best part–when participants just never look at their watches and just want the sessions to go on and on and in the end when they ask me to extend the time! This is when I know, that they are following the rule “Never make classes boring” and they truly are enjoying what they are learning.




Communication-Transaction Analysis

The model of Transaction Analysis was first given by Eric Berne–a theory for analyzing the interaction between human behavior and communication. While many would believe that its most important implication lies in professional life, but nevertheless, pre-adolescents and -adolescents already show a preference to one kind or way of communication over another.

The assumptions behind the model are:

  • Everyone is both OK
  • Each person should be accepted as they are
  • People take responsibility of self
  • People modify their behavior to seek physical and emotional nurturing from others

According to the PAC model, based on the childhood experiences and role models, personality can have three ego states (ego states are one of the sources of behavior):

  • Parent Ego state (Nurturing Parent Ego State & Critical Parent Ego State)
  • Adult Ego State (Objective, Ethical in character)
  • Child Ego State ( Free Child/Natural Child Ego state & Adaptive Ego State)

Transaction Analysis takes into account the interaction between different ego states in people. There can be multiple ways or types of interactions that determine the behavior.

It is not only verbal, but non verbal or body language (known as ‘strokes’) also that form a part of interaction or communication.

An individual always works from different ego states in a lifespan or in different situations. Being aware about ego states. both of one’s own as well as others, helps determines the relevant mode of ego state communication/interaction to attain the final purpose of communication.


Communication definition in its simplest form is transmission of a message from sender to the receiver via a medium. Your message may be affected by large noise during transmission (usually referred to as attenuation), making it imperative to make that the medium for the message is chosen appropriately. Also, for effective communication, it is important that the sender understands the receiver or audience; this is to ensure that the message is understood to the best of capacity and with least distortions or changes in the meaning.Communication

As we all know, communication can be both verbal  and non verbal. Only 30% of our communication is verbal while 70% is non verbal. Thus, if you are verbally giving someone a message which is happy, but the tone is sad or the body language and expressions are some depicting some other feeling/emotion (this by the ways is extremely difficult to do), a person would most likely decipher the message as your non verbal expression/emotion.

Usually 8 Cs are referred to for effective verbal communication.

  • Clear.
  • Concise.
  • Concrete.
  • Correct.
  • Coherent.
  • Complete.
  • Credible
  • Creative

For your message, it is extremely important that the information is well researched, correct, concise and is remembered. A creative medium chosen to transmit the message will also help to remember it.

It is also extremely important to practice and master controlling non verbal communication. Most people only think of it as body language, but it also includes, expressions such as the tone, pitch, voice modulation etc. Scientific research on nonverbal communication and behavior began with the 1872 publication of Charles Darwin’s The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.  Since then, there has been ample research on non verbal communication. Mostly, there are 8 ways through which we communicate non verbally

  • Facial Expression
  • Gestures
  • Paralinguistics
  • Body Language and Posture
  • Proxemics (Personal space)
  • Eye Gaze
  • Haptics (communication through touch)
  • Appearance

A closely related area, Emotions, was studied by Paul Ekman in the 60s, He identified six facial expressions that are identified universally–happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and surprise.

To be able to deliver the full impact of message, effective communication skills are important. While it is affected by many factors, communication skills can be improved through learning and practice.